How lonely Keanu Reeves spent his birfday alone - Lainey Gossip

Mel Gibson and OctoSana’s baby is lavish and shit – The Superficial

MiserAlba’s belly button, I can see it – Hollywood Tuna

Blake Lively can leave now, but her puppy friend can stay – The Berry

Cheryl Tweedy is making that money (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Kylie Minogue + acid trippy projections + a chorus of albino gays = her new video – Towleroad

Dumping Cristal Conners is against the law – Celebitchy

AnnaLynn McCord’s sexyface is more like an imhungryface – Popoholic

Chuck Bass will not stop until every pair of eyeballs on this planet has gotten a look at his furry cleavage – Popsugar

Friday Night Ass Cheeks – OMG Blog

Jennifer Aniston’s vagina is on a roll this week! – I’m Not Obsessed

Posh is growing her weave out – Just Jared

Michael Lohan wants to about a rehabbin’ 4 Jesus clinic – ICYDK

The simplest way to keep LiLo away from your event is just to simply tell her there’s no open bar or complimentary 8-balls in the restroom – Cityrag

Proof that the beautiful sun even shines at night on the stroll – Hollywood Rag

When Anna Wintour rolls her eyes, Lady Caca’s tuck comes undone – Holy Moly!

TMZ says that the controlled substance in question has been positively identified as ecstasy. This explains why the Wet ‘N Wild section at a Rite Aid blew the sloppiest air kiss right into Tiny’s face. Tiny was definitely rolling on some kind of cosmic shit when she put this 80s Miss Piggy look together.

Brayan Jaime, the pap who witnessed all of this, tells Radar, “There was a woman pushing a kid in the stroller, maybe a two or three-year-old, crossing the street. Lindsay took the red light and hit the stroller. It wasn’t super hard, but she made impact and hit them. Lindsay pulled to the right, stopped for two seconds, and then just kept going. I’m 100 per cent sure Lindsay was driving because I saw her with my own eyes. She was just driving like crazy once I started following her. She was trying to lose me, blowing stop signs and stuff. Lindsay was scared because she knew I saw what she did.”

Another witness says that LiLo was pulling out of her apartment building when she made a left turn right into the baby’s stroller. The witness said she barely tapped the stroller, so she might not have known what she did.

TMZ asked Brayan why the kid’s nanny didn’t look that worried afterwards and he said, “She was in shock and Hispanic so she was scared.”

This is true. I’m half Hispanic so I’m always half scared. Always half scared that la migra is going to deport half of me. This is why I piss out half of my bladder whenever I see a cop.

LiLo had this to say about the whole mess: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Oh, yeah, LiLo knows exactly what happened. White Oprah is having afternoon Bloody Marys with her lawyers right now to discuss suing that baby! That baby is the one who hit LiLo’s leased Maserati with her stroller. That baby’s stroller scratched LiLo’s Maserati. That baby and her fancy sunglasses are to blame! Baby better wait by her Fisher Price Blackberry, because White Oprah’s lawyers will be calling. When White Oprah is done with that baby, she won’t have a diaper to shit in!

This cat was obviously Alfred Hitchcock in a past life…

(Thanks to all who sent this in)

“I find it embarrassing that adults are like, ‘Taylor Swift is very talented.’ She’s not. She might be cute, but she’s horrible.”

Chris then went after the Mileys, RiRis and Ke$hits of the world:

“They have stylists who dress them, they make records with producers who play a chord into the computer and it all comes out the same…When you have computers doing it all for you…there’s no individuality. Singing isn’t always about being on key; it’s about emotionality.”

You can’t argue with Jesus.

Chris has a point, but it’s Taylor Fucking Swift! That’s like kicking a blind puppy. Yes, she’s 20-years-old and her lyrics sound like they were taken from the inside of a 6th grader’s Lisa Frank folder, but she’s pretty much harmless.

And yes, most of her songs should be sung by animated princesses twirling in the enchanted forest while a chorus of animal in clothes dance around her…. But obviously, there’s a bunch of people into that shit. I’ll admit that I sang one of her songs at karaoke the other night, but I try to live my life as though I’m an animated princess just twirling away in the enchanted forest, so that’s my excuse.

Oh and Chris forgot to add: “AND BEYONCE HAD ONE OF THE GREATEST VIDEOS OF ALL TIME!!!!111!!!”

These two clips should be used in advertising for the US Open, because this is the only reason to buy a ticket. At a US Open match last night, the audience was woken up from their open-eyed naps when a douchebag (who probably has a nickname like The P.T. aka The Pussy Tamer) and a lady with her bra straps showing exchanged a brawl of words. Now this is a fucking tennis match.

Apparently, the baby dick bag was throwing around the beautiful fuck word and homegirl wasn’t loving it so she got up to give him a piece. If you mute the video above and play any fight scene from Jersey Shore on your TV, that’s probably what it really sounded like. The phrases “Yoooz have no respect” and “Fuck yooz, you fat hippah” were probably used a few times.

At the beginning of the video, I started to give all my points to the douchebag, because we all know that I’m a major supporter for the right to spew the fuck word. But then I quickly shifted my love to homegirl when she slapped the fuck word right out of his mouth!

The fight ended the way all fights should end, a slow moving old fat dude tackled the young dickhead and the two went row surfing. Deadspin says that all 3 were arrested and later released. No word yet if the three will be giving an encore performance this weekend, but standby!

And yes, I’d hit it, but ole’ girl already beat me to it.

I now have new hope in Rihanna‘s acting abilities. She sure looks like a real sailor to me in this photo. I shall worry no more about Rihanna: the actress.

[Photo credit: INFdaily]

Nothing can stop true love, and in the case of Jeff Miranda, he is not going to let a simple Tweet get in his way. Snooki’s boyfriend is now claiming that he’s being blocked from seeing his true love, and RadarOnline.com has all the exclusive details. Miranda proposed to Snooki on the cover of Steppin’ Out magazine, which was reported exclusively on RadarOnline.com on Monday. But the pint-sized Jersey Shore star turned him down via Twitter, and now Miranda claims the producers of the show are warning him to stop trying to contact Snooki. RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that Miranda told Chaunce Hayden from Steppin’ Out magazine, “Ever since I’ve made it public that I want to marry Nicole, MTV’s lawyers have been calling and yelling at me to shut up. They keep threatening me with lawsuits if I don’t stop talking about her.” Jeff claims that he tried to visit Snooki at the Jersey Shore house on August 24, but the police guarding the set told him he had to leave and that he wasn’t welcome. “I’m not going to let 495 Productions keep us apart,” he said. “They don’t want us to be a couple, and they’re doing whatever they have to do to destroy our relationship. They stand to lose too much money if we’re together. They need Nicole to be single, and they’re going to see to it that she stays single.” He also denies that it was Snooki sending the Tweet herself due to strict filming rules. “I know that wasn’t Nicole who tweeted she wants to stay single. First of all, they don’t allow them to use cell phones or computers in the house.” Jeff claims that Snooki is in love with him. “She told me the last time we were together in private when the cameras weren’t on us that she wants to be with me and would give up the show for me.” Comparing his relationship with Snooki to Shakespeare, Jeff said, “it’s like Romeo and Juliet against the big corporate machines. But she knows I love her and I know she cares about me. “The truth is I love her and I want to be with her.” 495 Productions did not return requests for comment.

Erm, either this guy is a psycho stalker OR he’s just a moron looking for his own 15 minutes of fame … in either case, he sounds like the PERFECT guy for Snooki. HMMM … I just don’t understand why she would ever say no to a guy like this.

[Source]

She’s already followed in her mother’s footsteps with religion, fashion and music – now Madonna’s daughter Lourdes is following her onto the big screen too. The 13-year-old – billed as Lola Leon in the film credits – was spotted on the set of her mother’s movie W.E. wearing a school uniform ready for her movie debut. It’s not known yet exactly what part she’s playing and how big her role will be. Before she changed into her costume, Lourdes – known as Lola – had joined her mother on the shoot with brothers Rocco and David to see what progress was being made yesterday. Madonna was shooting in Mayfair yesterday outside hotel Claridges, as well as outside a makeshift Downing Street located in Aldwych. W.E., her second film as a director, tells the story of Edward VIII’s relationship with Wallis Simpson. The £18million film, currently being shot in Britain and France and due for release next year, intersperses Edward’s affair with the American divorcee with a love story set in 1998.

Now, lest you think that Lourdes … excuse me, Lola Leon … is without acting experience let me remind you that the little one has already appeared in the music video for Celebration … er, which was released by her mother. HMMM … I think I’m starting to see a pattern developing here. Still, everyone has to start somewhere … and in showbiz, it really is all about who you know. Might this be the start of a stunning acting career for Lola Leon? We shall see …

[Photo credit: Splash News; Source]